Catch up

I feel so bad about not keeping up with everyone’s blogs 😦 I’ve had a lot to deal with myself.

The service was beautiful, so many people turned up that they couldn’t all fit in. Nan had about 100 sympathy cards as well, and I spent the entire time sat holding on to Gareth for support. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the church. The service was so great as the lady taking it knew gramp well as he went to church every Sunday. The only person in our family to go, actually. She said how they could have done with him that day as he was the one who put the chairs out lol, but the thing that really made me cry – mostly tears of joy, was when she held up the service sheet and it was a photo I took of gramp on the cover and she said how wonderful it was and that it captured Grampy Sid beautifully.

From there we went to the Crematorium… this part was for family and very close friends only so there was only a few of us there so it helped us to grieve more privately. They had the curtains open for us to go up and touch the coffin and leave so we could say our goodbyes. I held on to Gareth so tightly because the whole scene was just so upsetting. My manly cousins and my tough brother, were sobbing their eyes out. My mum with my dad (who was also crying), she just collapsed on to the coffin, wailing. Grampy Sid was very much a father to her, she left home very young to live with my dad, nan and gramp. They went on holidays together and they had this amusing relationship where they would tease each other, and it tore her to pieces to have to say goodbye. The wake was just a short event for me, as by 3pm I was so exhausted emotionally I had to go home. That’s when I got back and Gareth made me a hot chocolate, got my PJs and the duvet and tucked me in on the sofa and I was out like a light. He’s so good to me.

Last Sunday we had to say goodbye once again as we buried the ashes. It was a miserable raining day, but my family all turned up to church after the service. We all had the opportunity to say a little something but I kept quiet. What I would have said was I’ll miss him calling me David Bailey, and asking us if we’re alright before telling us he’ll soon sort it out lol. I’ll miss doing the crossword with him on a Saturday, the sausages he always cooked for the table and how he slaved away cooking them just for us while he chuckled. We all helped putting the dirt back on by shovelling a little back in the hole

In fact, it still hasn’t sunk in to my head, I keep forgetting dispite having said goodbye to him and all. I walked to nan’s house today with mum (as it was nice) and when I walked through the door we go in the side door into the dining room and I went straight towards the living room to say hello, expecting him to be in the chair and he wasn’t. Friday afternoons and Saturdays are going to be hard for a long time. My Saturdays at my nan’s are everything to me. If I don’t go, my whole weekend is thrown into disarray.

I also have a sewing machine. Hopefully I will be able to start sewing some awesome stuff.

and even more exciting, I have my wedding shoes… Although that’s about as far as we’ve got lol